Am I a Luddite?

Posted: June 1, 2012 in General

A who? A what?  Is that a butcher who gags at the sight of blood? Or maybe a chiropractor that gets the heebie-jeebies whenever he hears a bone pop? Wrong and wrong.  A Luddite is a modern man who wishes technology would take a U-turn down a one-way street and get lost along the way. Hmm, not a bad idea I say as I raise a Ludditian flag high into the air. But here I am…getting drawn knee-deep into the slop of building a website with Widgets and Flickr and Gravitars and Meebo’s giving me a headache worse than a thousand magpies Twittering inside my brain. And even worse I’m  building a Facebook page that looks like a sophisticated kindygartner got their tiny peanut butter smeared hands on his daddy’s laptop. We’re talking about a guy whose wife threw a major party when he got a cellphone (today is my one year Cellular Anniversary Day. Send me a congratulatory text…maybe I’ll figure out how to retrieve it). But today I’ll come clean.

My last blood test verified I am indeed a Luddite.

It’s not as if my single snow shovel (snowblower be damned!) or Boy Scout can opener will second that finding. But maybe my sandpaper block or college era record player spinning a Who album will get me entrance into Fort Luddite. Still, I worry the gatekeeper would just say I’m just too stubborn and don’t have the Ludditian Ten Commandments memorized (ex. Number One: Ignorance is Bliss, Technology Blows).

Naw, if he locks the gate on me, he and technology can kiss my Luddy tattoo. And I’m going to tell the world the same damn thing if I can just figure out how to copy and paste this into my blog.

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