Super Freak!

Posted: June 19, 2012 in General

As a well-schooled Catholic boy I routinely went to confession to profess my sins and gain absolution. But in that context it was private and personal; in fact, a confessional booth was about the most foreboding place a young boy could visit. Just me and my Maker, with a human conduit of a priest connecting the two of us in a spiritual and netherwordly manner. But in that respect at least my sins were revealed to only those that mattered. But now I’m going to come clean publicly and accept my thirty lashes.

I am a total fantasy football loser and deserve to be punished.

Case in point: I have run over countless 2012 draft day scenarios since last season ended. Running back or quarterback in the first round? Who will be available in the second round?  Point two: I’ve looked at mock drafts as early as last March. Unfortunately there are too many temptations on the Internet authored by freaks just as sick as me. Point three: I have an alter-ego of “Master P”, a supposed fantasy football genius who allows me immunity from my own weakness. Point four: I just bought a fantasy football magazine in June! Now can anyone tell me how absolutely pathetic that is? I think the answer is a resounding YES!

So what is a poor Catholic boy with a major problem to do? Join Fantasy Anonymous and use the ten-step program (Step one: Stay away from other Fantasy Addicts like my son Luke)? Smash the laptop? Turn to a morphine-like filler of college football?  Personally, I’m not sure there is a cure that will take.

Perhaps I’ll turn to an old standby that worked when I was a boy: Recite ten Hail Marys and five Our Fathers and a promise to sin no more. I suppose that can’t hurt can it? And do me a personal favor, please – keep me in your prayers and beg for God’s blessing.

  1. mcmaurer says:

    This Mary is praying for you bigtime. At least I can vouch for the fact that you have seen the inside of a confessional. Perhaps you’ve heard now of what they call group confession?

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